Oops! Here is the latest upddate......

I just re-read my previous blogs and realized I hadn’t updated you since my last CT Scan! WOW! I won’t drag this, but I did want to update you.

I went in for my results and treatment the week before Thanksgiving and received excellent news regarding the CT. All except two of the nodes have shrunk and the two that didn’t have not grown – WOOHOO! Of course, as I have said all along, I knew that to be the case.

The bad news was that my liver enzymes were high and I could not receive treatement. Apparently they had been high in October as well, but they were able to adjust the, dosage and proceed with treatment. Since I am in a study the parameters are very well defined and adjustments can be made ONCE. After that treatment has to be skipped. If more than 5 weeks pass between treatments, I will be released from the study.

Now this isn’t the end of the world, as I am on common meds, I would be able to continue with them, but at lower doses less frequently. Since this is working (AMEN!)I really want to keep on with what we are doing. I switched back to the oxycodone and eliminated tylenol.

At the time, this seemed like a great twist of fate (except that I didn’t get to be with Kerri)because I would feel good for the holiday and we could head down to see my dad a day early. Well….....nothing is that easy!

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving with the family and returned home the following Saturday, as we had to be at MSKCC on Monday. Low and behold I got sick on Sunday! Fever and all! I assumed I would not be going to NYC so I just slept the day and night away. I called Dr. Tew in the A.M. and explained what was going on and was instructed to come in the THEIR ER! OMG! Off we went, spent the day in the ER and was sent home fever free and hydrated. No one seemed to know if I would be getting treatment the next day Since the premeds are such fun, I skipped them assuming they wouldn’t want to proceed. WRONG AGAIN!

However, since I hadn’t had the meds, I had to wait another day to start treatment :(! We spent the day Christmas shopping (I have been trying to get my husband in the city for the holidays for 10 years and here I am sick as a dog!) and flitting around. Thankfully we were staying at our friends place, so there wasn’t a problem continuing with our stay (they are so awesome!). Finished up on Friday and headed home. However, my entire schedule has been thrown off! Not only that the pesky fever returned sporadically for a week and I missed the Nana Cares Christmas Cash Cocktail Party! This was so heartbreaking for me!

Went in the week before Christmas and you know the rest. Having another CT Scan on Tuesday and treatment on the 9, 10 & 11th. My girl Kerri is meeting me in (provided my bloodwork will be normal again – Im sure it will!). Can’t wait to hear how much more the cancer has shrunk! Life is good! Celebrate all you have!

New Year Reflections

I haven’t blogged in a while, and I miss you all! We know how it gets around the holidays though!

I had a cycle last week and it was a really tough week, but I think I proved to myself the power of positive thinking.

I was down, really having a pity party for myself (which is perfectly acceptable for those in our situations – OCCASSIONALLY!)and it affected ever aspect of my life and treatment. I was tired, nauseaus, constipated, aching and just down and out miserable. I was mad that I had to deal with this nonesense at Christmas, again. I was mad that I couldn’t plan too much for the holiday, because I didn’t know if I would be up to it. I was mad because I couldn’t prepare a hot dish or dessert for my sisters house on Christmas eve, because I was just too miserable and sick. Basically, I was just plain mad!

I told my husband I was done. I am not doing this anymore! He said for today? I said forever! He proceeded to explain that was not an option, and I realized while he was right, I WAS STILL MAD AS HELL!

A couple of days ago there was a “post” going around facebook about a woman and little girl who had been hit by a drunk driver, perhaps you saw it. The little girl passed away and the mother was not going to make it. Her son bought her a white rose. There is much more to the story, but I am sure you know the tale.

I read the post and said ENOUGH! I am not going to be that mother (DWI, cancer, heart attack – whatever!)My son is not placing flowers in my casket, my daughters are not going to wish I were there for their prom, wedding, childs birth! I will be there. I will see my children reach all of their mildstones, each and everyone!

Guess what…......I feel better, physically, mentally and emotionally. No pain killers today, appetite is back, play dates yesterday, more today. Life is good and I appreciate each and every moment of it. I have been to the dark side and I don’t like it.

As I reflect back on the past couple of weeks and look ahead to the new year, I am excited! Excited for what the New Year will show me. The new experiences I will see through the eyes of my children. I will not make a new years resolution, but I will reflect, not just this week but the whole year through. I hope you will too!

xoxox

Posted on December 28, 2011 at 4:16:32 PM by Grutta7